Banned Books Week

I was aware of quite a few books Florida was attempting to ban early on this week, as I follow John Green on Twitter and he seems to be at the brunt of the attack. From what I can gather, this is just a low blow at semi successful authors/books, with any mention of the world sex or mildly erotic scene sending of warning bells in the heads of overprotective and conservative parents. I find this just ridiculous

I'm seventeen years old, and I love to read. I am not American, and although these potential bans don't impact me directly, I am simply appalled at the amount of control parents want over what their children can read. When I'm reading, I go into a whole other world entirely, imagining along with the character and following them on their adventure. I know from personal experience that it just isn't as much fun to read books that you're told to read. Half the fun of reading is seeing a book on the shelf for the first time and exclaiming "I want to read that!"

With the constant rise in modern technology, our generation is being overloaded with iPods, phones and all sorts of things, that reading may slowly begin to fall to the wayside. It's becoming more important to update your Facebook status or send a tweet than it is to curl up with a good book. I love reading, and censorship of books is taking the magic out of it.

Banning, and attempts to ban books is effectively turning a positive into a negative. The magic of good literature, many of which are on the chopping block, is a positive influence on kids and young adults, and therefore the small-minded people who are most likely yapping away on the phone rather than curling up with a good book should rethink the damage they're potentially inflicting on their child's future.

Online Bitch

I have come to the conclusion that I can be real bitch online. With so many thousands of kilometres separating me from people, I say things without thinking which are kind of harsh and then regret it later. I'm no judge of myself in person. I'm probably a real bitch IRL too, but I'm destined to be ostracized on the internet because i don't think and can't keep my mouth shut, or my fingers from flitting across the keyboard. that is all.

The Gate

Two of the world's most powerful forces of evil, Kurai and Itami, are working to reach the mythical land Limbo, the point between life and death, to close the gate to Heaven and doom all souls to an eternity in Hell. Unable to reach Limbo, they delve into the real world, followed by Megami, bearer of the elements, whose job it is to stop them. But in the real world they're faced with real challenges, and must battle them as well as each other to reach their ultimate goal.

Japanese:
Megami- goddess
Kurai- dark
Itami- pain

Surreality

As I'm writing this right now I'm sitting on my floor. My cold, hard, wooden floor. But it's cool. My bed us cluttered with junk. Andy's Tim Tams are staring at me. My suitcase is over by my bookshelf. So I'm fine just sitting here, running on two hours sleep and blogging because as usual, I get inspired at the randomest of times. Sit down in your comfy chair and have your cursor poised over the scrolling bar coz you got a whole lot coming your way.

Azkatraz. In less than four days I will be on a plane to Sydney, then to San Francisco. Oh my fucking god. It's not like I haven't been on a plane before. I'm born in New Zealand, and I flew to Auckland and Queenstown and other places there. I've been to Fiji. I flew to Sydney in 2002 for my auntie's wedding. But this is different. This time I'm flying halfway across the world. By myself. To a place I've never been before. To a different time zone. A new culture. A place I've been fascinated with ever since I first picked up a book. This doesn't frighten me at all, no matter how many times I get asked. I am excited yes, but more-so I am curious. I'm interested to see the world outside my register at McDonalds. I want to do something other than walk to work every day and walk home again. I want to meet the people I've talked to for so long who at the moment are no more than a chat window or a Facebook comment. I want to do something for me, and to show my mum that she can't always stop me doing what I want to do.

The only thing that frightens me about Azkatraz is leaving. I have this feeling that I'm going to sink into a depression when I go home and go back to work and everything will just be as shit as always. I want to treasure each moment and make sure it doesn't fly by too quickly. There's so many people I want to meet and share the wonders of the Harry Potter fandom with. It'll be like a huge family having the most awesome time ever, together. Instead of listening to my mum's orders, my sister's bitching and Pete's "attempt" at bossing me and Brooke around, I can have fun. I can smile. I can laugh. I can talk. I can live.

I want the people I meet there not to see me as a sarcastic, aggressive bitch like the people do here. And I really hope my weirdness doesn't freak people out too much because I can be pretty strange at times. But somehow, a part of me doesn't think any of it will matter at all. I can just be me, and watch as the world works a different way, the toilets flush in the opposite direction, where it's Summer and not Winter and people talk in a different accent with new things to say. America, here I come.

Word to your bookshelf,

Kassi

Lost in the Void

Sometimes I hate my mum, I really do. There are times (very few) when we get along but like with my sister, we mostly fight and yell. I’m such a Daddy’s girl and even though my parents are divorced, it hasn’t improved my relationship with my mother. In fact, it’s probably made it worse since I have to put up with her 24/7.

With my mum, it’s all about her and whoever she’s currently with. Her current boyfriend is clearly for the long term though. If I try to say anything otherwise my mum will go on and on with the usual “The world doesn’t revolve around you” when I’m thinking I know. It revolves around you. My sister and I are a small blip on the radar of her view of life.

We knew before we moved to Melbourne that we were buying a house here. But it was decided that we would rent first while looking for a house to buy as we needed somewhere to live straight away. I’ve known for months that we would be moving out of our current house eventually and to get settled in is pointless but I can’t help it. I’ve moved countries; I’ve lived in eleven different houses, been to five different schools and watched both my parents go through countless relationships.

The house we’re in at the moment is in the perfect place for me to go to work because I can work. My work and the fact that I have a job doesn’t factor into my mum and Pete’s decision on a house. The only thing factored in is it being on a bus route. I don’t want to rely on public transport to get me to work on time. I already have to walk half an hour as it is to get to work, and then public transport costs money.

I’m not paying board at the moment because I’m going to America but I can’t afford to pay bus money every day. I’ve told my mum that if I have to catch the bus she’s paying for it and she pulls out the usual threats of me going and living somewhere else or shipping me off to my father’s. I don’t go to school anymore and gone is the safety net.

In many senses I’m treated more like an adult than an irresponsible teenager. I don’t go to school, I work. I have to do things for myself. I have more responsibility. I freak out endlessly about having to do year twelve at TAFE next year. I worry about having enough money for America. In some ways I prefer to be treated more like an adult because in many ways I am more independent now and I’m almost seventeen. But there are some parts of me that wish for that innocence back and not to have everything thrown upon me.

The things that I define my life by are laughable to others. I’m worried about doing year twelve when there are people in Melbourne whose parents are drug dealers and go home to their mum being bashed and their father off their face, lucky not to cop a beating themselves. Talk about bad influence. I don’t know what my mum’s definition of a “better lifestyle” is but I’ll tell you one thing, it definitely varies from mine.

In other news, Sonia, my manager at work, is leaving. Now, Sonia can be REALLY annoying sometimes but coz she is full time I’ve really gotten to know her and we have lots of fun and are always cracking each other up. I see her almost every day so we have our inside jokes and our things and stuff so it’s going to be sad to see her ago. She’s not just moving to another store either, she’s leaving McDonalds for good after six and a half years.

The drawback to having Sonia leave is not just losing a good manager but replacing one. There are two things that can happen. A manager from somewhere else will come in and take her place. If this happens I really hope to dear lord that they aren’t a total bitch or really mean/scary/strict. We full times are the ones who are going to have to put up with them all the time and I really don’t need something else to stress me out in my life.

The other thing that could happen is one of our crew trainers get promoted to manager. Of our crew trainers, the most likely to be made manager are Ashton, Fi or Stacy. I was talking to Tiff about it and I immediately ruled out Ashton because she’s still in school (year twelve) and she isn’t full time. I’m not sure if Rhi (one of our trainee manager’s) is still in school but I know she’s only eighteen.

Then there’s Fi and Stacy, who are practically best friends. They’re both full timers and practically live at McDonalds. They’re favourites of Anna (our store manager) and know pretty much everything there is to know. The two are moving in together soon and I keep joking (I think I’m joking but I wouldn’t be surprised if they seriously did this) that they’re going to get a pole and a cage for their new house.

Fi’s been at McDonalds for three and a half years whereas Stacy has only been there two. You’d think Fi would be made manager because she’s been there longer but I’m not too sure. I wouldn’t mind either way. I reckon Fi should become a manager, natural order and all, but I can see Stace as the manager type. She just looks more like she should be a manager. She left school at like, fourteen, and has been from Hungry Jacks (Burger King, for Americans) to here so she definitely has the experience.

Word to your bookshelf,

Kassi

Days I've Worked Full Time: 64
Books I've Read in 2009: 51
Days Till I Leave for Azkatraz: 27

Life's a Bitch

So, I haven't blogged in a while. I don't know how long but I do know the last two weeks have been pretty hectic. My nanna came down from the Gold Coast for my mum and my sister's birthday weekend, I was sick and off work for a few days then I went back to work and we were short staffed. And to top it all of Friday we had an inspection with Kelly from Head Office basically x-raying (not literally) EVERYTHING about the store.

I love books. I really do. The lady at the salon where I got my legs waxed the other day was like "Don't you prefer watching movies?" and I was just thinking no no no no no! I have this thing with Jodi Picoult's books, even though I've only read two so far. I've read My Sister's Keeper (which I didn't know had been adaptated into a movie! squee!) and Handle With Care, both of which made me cry. I was bawling my eyes out during the movie trailer.

Part of me doing this whole "Reading 150 books in a year thing" was that I wanted to read books that I've never read before, and not just the type of books I usually read but all different kinds of books. Different people have different taste in books which is why I took recommendations from tons of people and have had an... interesting time to say the least.

One of my recent reads (well, I'm still reading it as it's a series) is the House of Night series by P.C. and Kristin Cast. It's another vampire (well, technically 'vampyre') series so I was a little hesitant but I trust the judgement of my friends. Becca recommended it to me first, then Fi (my friend from work) and I found out recently that my really good friend (I don't use the term 'best' friend quite easily) from the Gold Coast is reading them too. I'll put it simply: I'm hooked. I don't know, this is just what books do to me. I was jumping down the hallway, eager to get to my room so I could continue reading. If my family didn't already think I was strange (which I'm sure they did) then they definitely do now.

In other news, only thirty one days till I leave for America to go to Azkatraz! I'm beyond excited, not just for Half-Blood Prince which we are finally getting but to meet a lot of the made-of-awesome people I've been talking to and sometimes fangirling (and I'll admit, stalking) for months. I especially want to meet Casey (Aussie pride, yeah!) and the Hogwarts Radio crew, particularly Becca, Terrance and Andy coz I've actually spoken to them online.. wait I might have talked to Jackie on Facebook once but I don't think that counts :P

I think that's all I've got to say for the moment. I'll try to blog more regularly from now on. I haven't blogged lately because I didn't think I had that much of anything interesting to say so yeah. I'll leave you with this poem thing I wrote last night:

Your voice is like a whisper in the wind but I strain to hear
My hair flails wildly as I'm consumed by fear
But your call is like a Siren's lure
As I chase it blindly I'm still unsure
Your laugh is like fire burning inside me
Your smile is like a beacon when I can't see
I know when I'm with you it will be okay
The ties between us will never fray
Your kiss is like a beat of my heart
And even when we are forced apart
One look reminds me that I'm head over heels
I know this is how love really feels
One day it won't matter if people stare
We're too lost in our own world to care
But for now I'll smile and hope you'll see
As you stand in the dark watching me

Word to your bookshelf,
Kassi

Days I've Worked Full Time: 60
Books I've Read in 2009: 49
Days Till I Leave for Azkatraz: 31

First Encounter

This story reminds me of the movie Riding in Cars with Boys which is probably one of my favourite movies.

First Encounter

Ebony was lying on her bed reading a book when her sister came barging in. She never knocked and usually didn’t have a good reason for coming in unannounced. Ebony liked politeness so this irked her about her sister.

‘Ebs, come on. We’re going out,’ Katie said eagerly. She was always in an excitable mood over some thing or another. Usually she tried to get Ebony involved in her adventures, and they usually involved them risking some kind of trouble which made her resistant to partaking.

‘No thanks, I’m reading,’ said Ebony, turning a page in her book. Katie stomped her foot and crossed her arms. Although she was nineteen, her behaviour sometimes reminded Ebony of a ten year old child. When she didn’t get her way she pouted and moaned.

‘You can read any old day Ebs. Come on, I’m going to take you to your first party,’ Katie said excitedly. Another thing about Katie was that she was really eager for Ebony to experience grownup things because she felt she’d been deprived in that department.

‘I’ve been to parties before,’ Ebony said slowly, already anticipating Katie’s next words. She knew what kind of party Katie was talking about and she was steering clear. In no way was she drinking alcohol or coughing from cigarette fumes.
‘Not that kind of party Ebs, you haven’t partied till you come to one of these,’ Katie nagged, pulling on Ebony’s arm.

‘I’m not going to go to a party to watch you get drunk,’ Ebony said blatantly.
‘I’m not getting drunk. I just want you to experience things Ebs. You’re never going to learn if you don’t get out there and do stuff. How else can you get a boyfriend?’ Katie reminded. She’d hit it home with that one. The thing Ebony wanted most of all was a boyfriend and Katie knew it. She was seventeen and she’d never even kissed a boy which in social standing was considered very sad.

Katie managed to yank some nicer clothes on Ebony and drag her downstairs. Their mother was on the phone and took no notice of them leaving. One of Katie’s many boy toys was waiting outside in a junk box of a car and they crawled in the back. Ebony held her hand over her mouth to block the smoke. The guy driving the car was obviously a chain smoker. Katie had dodgy friends.

They pulled up to a drab house with shutters falling and peeling paint. The drive was littered with empty beer cans and cigarette butts. Ebony kicked one with the toe of her Keds as she blindly followed Katie up to the house. The thumping music was already giving her a headache but Katie pulled her in and through the thong of people.

‘Hey Dina, this is my sister Ebony,’ Katie introduced earnestly, taking a drink from a random guy and downing half of it straight away. She handed one to Ebony who held it in her hand but didn’t take a sip. She wasn’t going to get drunk. There was no way she was going to get drunk.

It didn’t take her long to lose Katie in the crowd because her sister was so popular and everyone seemed to know her and want to talk to her. Ebony watched her from across the room talking to this drop dead gorgeous guy who she wished was her boyfriend. Katie looked at her and waved and the guy glanced over interestedly.
Soon Katie disappeared and the gorgeous guy walked towards her. She turned around, thinking there must be someone behind her who he was going to talk to instead. But nobody was facing in this direction. He was walking over to her.

‘You’re Ebony, right? My name’s Will,’ he introduced. She shook his hand even though no sound would come out of her mouth. He was even more gorgeous up close. She could see the intense green of his eyes and the way his hair flopped over one eye.

‘Listen, do you want to come with me to get some more soda?’ Will asked. Ebony found herself saying yes, even though there was plenty of soda on the table across the room. She wasn’t sure why Will wanted to get more but she followed him wordlessly.

When they were sitting in his car only the dim light from a street lamp allowed her to see. She could vaguely see Will’s face and he was looking at her. She didn’t quite know what the look on his face meant but she’d never seen that look on the face of a boy who was looking at her. He moved closer to her and she realised about a second too late that he was going to kiss her.

Inside Ebony was freaking out. She’d never kissed a boy before and she wasn’t sure at all what to do. She wanted to kiss Will but what if she did something wrong? What if her lips were in the wrong place or her teeth got in the way? Will seemed to know what he was doing though. His lips were soft as he pressed them to hers and he guided her into a kiss. It didn’t seem that difficult with Will. He knew what he was doing.

Ebony didn’t know what they were supposed to do next. She thought Will would kiss her and that would be it, maybe he’d talk to her or something. But he kept kissing her, pressing her up against the car door. The glass of the window felt cold against her neck. She felt his hand creep up the back of her shirt and his finger moved under the elastic of her bra.

Ebony froze when he guided her hand to the bulge in his shorts. Her mind flashed back to a conversation she’d had with Katie the previous summer after an incident with a boy at the pool after Lucy Daniels’ bikini top had come off during her jump from the high board.

‘When a boy is excited or turned on his, you know, gets hard. But do not, under any circumstances, put it in your mouth,’ Katie had said. Ebony had been unsure of what her sister had been talking about at the time but now she had a pretty clear idea. Will wanted her to touch it, didn’t he? Or he wouldn’t have put her hand there.

She was more concerned with his tongue, which he was trying to put in her mouth. She thought that was a little strange. What was it supposed to do in her mouth? Before she could do anything though, a light shone in her eyes and the door was yanked open.
‘Ebony, come on. We have to go,’ Katie was saying and she was dragging her backwards out of the car. All she remembered was seeing that look on Will’s face before her sister pulled her headlong down the street.

‘Did you do it? Did he kiss you?’ Katie asked eagerly. She was talking as if she’d known what was going to happen. Could she have really known what was going to happen? She’d been talking to Will and oh! What if she’d asked him to kiss her?
‘Did you ask him to do that to me?’ Ebony cried, outraged. Katie raised her eyebrows, her drink still in her hand.

‘You have to learn how to kiss somehow Ebs. You’re lucky, Will’s one of the hottest seniors I know,’ Katie said matter-of-factly. She took a swig of her drink and threw the empty bottle in the gutter. She tugged on Ebony’s hand but her sister pulled away.

‘His, you know, was hard Katie. He tried to undo my bra and he almost put his tongue in my mouth!’ Ebony cried. Katie giggled which Ebony did not find amusing. Her first kiss was over with and she was still just as clueless about boys.

‘You could have had Will. He actually thought you were pretty,’ Katie added as she walked up the drive to their house. Ebony rushed ahead and entered the house first. She could not believe Katie sometimes. She hadn’t wanted her first kiss to be in the back of a car. It had been uncomfortable and Ebony had had no idea what she was doing.

‘Ebs, wait,’ Katie called but Ebony ignored her. She jogged up the stairs and only relaxed when she was in her room. She collapsed on her bed where the book she’d been reading still lay. Nothing seemed real anymore. This wasn’t how she’d expected her first encounter with a boy to be and she wasn’t sure she liked it.