Lost in the Void

Sometimes I hate my mum, I really do. There are times (very few) when we get along but like with my sister, we mostly fight and yell. I’m such a Daddy’s girl and even though my parents are divorced, it hasn’t improved my relationship with my mother. In fact, it’s probably made it worse since I have to put up with her 24/7.

With my mum, it’s all about her and whoever she’s currently with. Her current boyfriend is clearly for the long term though. If I try to say anything otherwise my mum will go on and on with the usual “The world doesn’t revolve around you” when I’m thinking I know. It revolves around you. My sister and I are a small blip on the radar of her view of life.

We knew before we moved to Melbourne that we were buying a house here. But it was decided that we would rent first while looking for a house to buy as we needed somewhere to live straight away. I’ve known for months that we would be moving out of our current house eventually and to get settled in is pointless but I can’t help it. I’ve moved countries; I’ve lived in eleven different houses, been to five different schools and watched both my parents go through countless relationships.

The house we’re in at the moment is in the perfect place for me to go to work because I can work. My work and the fact that I have a job doesn’t factor into my mum and Pete’s decision on a house. The only thing factored in is it being on a bus route. I don’t want to rely on public transport to get me to work on time. I already have to walk half an hour as it is to get to work, and then public transport costs money.

I’m not paying board at the moment because I’m going to America but I can’t afford to pay bus money every day. I’ve told my mum that if I have to catch the bus she’s paying for it and she pulls out the usual threats of me going and living somewhere else or shipping me off to my father’s. I don’t go to school anymore and gone is the safety net.

In many senses I’m treated more like an adult than an irresponsible teenager. I don’t go to school, I work. I have to do things for myself. I have more responsibility. I freak out endlessly about having to do year twelve at TAFE next year. I worry about having enough money for America. In some ways I prefer to be treated more like an adult because in many ways I am more independent now and I’m almost seventeen. But there are some parts of me that wish for that innocence back and not to have everything thrown upon me.

The things that I define my life by are laughable to others. I’m worried about doing year twelve when there are people in Melbourne whose parents are drug dealers and go home to their mum being bashed and their father off their face, lucky not to cop a beating themselves. Talk about bad influence. I don’t know what my mum’s definition of a “better lifestyle” is but I’ll tell you one thing, it definitely varies from mine.

In other news, Sonia, my manager at work, is leaving. Now, Sonia can be REALLY annoying sometimes but coz she is full time I’ve really gotten to know her and we have lots of fun and are always cracking each other up. I see her almost every day so we have our inside jokes and our things and stuff so it’s going to be sad to see her ago. She’s not just moving to another store either, she’s leaving McDonalds for good after six and a half years.

The drawback to having Sonia leave is not just losing a good manager but replacing one. There are two things that can happen. A manager from somewhere else will come in and take her place. If this happens I really hope to dear lord that they aren’t a total bitch or really mean/scary/strict. We full times are the ones who are going to have to put up with them all the time and I really don’t need something else to stress me out in my life.

The other thing that could happen is one of our crew trainers get promoted to manager. Of our crew trainers, the most likely to be made manager are Ashton, Fi or Stacy. I was talking to Tiff about it and I immediately ruled out Ashton because she’s still in school (year twelve) and she isn’t full time. I’m not sure if Rhi (one of our trainee manager’s) is still in school but I know she’s only eighteen.

Then there’s Fi and Stacy, who are practically best friends. They’re both full timers and practically live at McDonalds. They’re favourites of Anna (our store manager) and know pretty much everything there is to know. The two are moving in together soon and I keep joking (I think I’m joking but I wouldn’t be surprised if they seriously did this) that they’re going to get a pole and a cage for their new house.

Fi’s been at McDonalds for three and a half years whereas Stacy has only been there two. You’d think Fi would be made manager because she’s been there longer but I’m not too sure. I wouldn’t mind either way. I reckon Fi should become a manager, natural order and all, but I can see Stace as the manager type. She just looks more like she should be a manager. She left school at like, fourteen, and has been from Hungry Jacks (Burger King, for Americans) to here so she definitely has the experience.

Word to your bookshelf,

Kassi

Days I've Worked Full Time: 64
Books I've Read in 2009: 51
Days Till I Leave for Azkatraz: 27

Life's a Bitch

So, I haven't blogged in a while. I don't know how long but I do know the last two weeks have been pretty hectic. My nanna came down from the Gold Coast for my mum and my sister's birthday weekend, I was sick and off work for a few days then I went back to work and we were short staffed. And to top it all of Friday we had an inspection with Kelly from Head Office basically x-raying (not literally) EVERYTHING about the store.

I love books. I really do. The lady at the salon where I got my legs waxed the other day was like "Don't you prefer watching movies?" and I was just thinking no no no no no! I have this thing with Jodi Picoult's books, even though I've only read two so far. I've read My Sister's Keeper (which I didn't know had been adaptated into a movie! squee!) and Handle With Care, both of which made me cry. I was bawling my eyes out during the movie trailer.

Part of me doing this whole "Reading 150 books in a year thing" was that I wanted to read books that I've never read before, and not just the type of books I usually read but all different kinds of books. Different people have different taste in books which is why I took recommendations from tons of people and have had an... interesting time to say the least.

One of my recent reads (well, I'm still reading it as it's a series) is the House of Night series by P.C. and Kristin Cast. It's another vampire (well, technically 'vampyre') series so I was a little hesitant but I trust the judgement of my friends. Becca recommended it to me first, then Fi (my friend from work) and I found out recently that my really good friend (I don't use the term 'best' friend quite easily) from the Gold Coast is reading them too. I'll put it simply: I'm hooked. I don't know, this is just what books do to me. I was jumping down the hallway, eager to get to my room so I could continue reading. If my family didn't already think I was strange (which I'm sure they did) then they definitely do now.

In other news, only thirty one days till I leave for America to go to Azkatraz! I'm beyond excited, not just for Half-Blood Prince which we are finally getting but to meet a lot of the made-of-awesome people I've been talking to and sometimes fangirling (and I'll admit, stalking) for months. I especially want to meet Casey (Aussie pride, yeah!) and the Hogwarts Radio crew, particularly Becca, Terrance and Andy coz I've actually spoken to them online.. wait I might have talked to Jackie on Facebook once but I don't think that counts :P

I think that's all I've got to say for the moment. I'll try to blog more regularly from now on. I haven't blogged lately because I didn't think I had that much of anything interesting to say so yeah. I'll leave you with this poem thing I wrote last night:

Your voice is like a whisper in the wind but I strain to hear
My hair flails wildly as I'm consumed by fear
But your call is like a Siren's lure
As I chase it blindly I'm still unsure
Your laugh is like fire burning inside me
Your smile is like a beacon when I can't see
I know when I'm with you it will be okay
The ties between us will never fray
Your kiss is like a beat of my heart
And even when we are forced apart
One look reminds me that I'm head over heels
I know this is how love really feels
One day it won't matter if people stare
We're too lost in our own world to care
But for now I'll smile and hope you'll see
As you stand in the dark watching me

Word to your bookshelf,
Kassi

Days I've Worked Full Time: 60
Books I've Read in 2009: 49
Days Till I Leave for Azkatraz: 31